Diving Etiquette

Diving Etiquette

Diving Etiquette rules and how to be as annoying as possible!

Be That Diver

A nice relaxing scuba diving trip, but certain things annoy fellow divers so if you want to be the most hated person on the boat then be sure to ignore these diving etiquette rules



Be Late

White Rabbit with clockWander leisurely into the briefing late with no apology because you wanted to start the day by enjoying a leisurely breakfast. Your team of fellow divers and guides will be so pleased that you eventually turned up.

Spread Out

TheMove itre is not a lot of room on a boat so spread your gear everywhere. Encroaching into other divers areas causing them to have to wait to kit up or having to move your bag or mask to sit down is a sure way to make yourself very popular – NOT!

Stir It Up

Stir it up

Overweight yourself and plummet to the bottom damaging the fragile eco system and everything else under you, then kick up the sand/silt as you take off, or better still after you get a great macro shot of that nudibranch kick it all up leaving a dust cloud as the subject for the next photographer.


Squashed Coyote

Everyone else will move out of your way because you always have the right of way. The diver with the camera that had just lined up the picture perfectly before you came steaming through will be sure to thank you for that picture they missed when you both get back on the boat!


Mobile Dive Shop

The Complete Diver

Make sure that every item of extra kit available from the dive shop is clipped to you and that you don’t know how to use it. You don’t need to be streamlined if you look as good as you do!


Only what YOU can see is important

See No evil

The only thing that counts is what is in front of you. Neoprene is rubber isn’t it, so a 3mm wetsuit will soften the blow of your pillar valve when it hits the diver above in the chest as you yoyo along unaware of the others around you on your dive!

Hare and Tortoise


Keep on Finning!

 Slow and relaxed is how most people like to dive, so finning like mad and going as fast as possible will not only chew your air quicker, making it a shorter dive for everyone, but it will annoy the hell out of your dive guide that is trying to stay at the front of the group. Better still keep finning on a drift dive!

 Be Noisy!

Baby Rattle

 Bang your cylinder like a lunatic when you see a pufferfish, or better still buy one of those really noisy underwater airhorns or rattles, other divers love them! They are for emergencies.



Touch Everything!

Take only pictures leave only bubblesTake only photos and leave only bubbles, is the motto of 99% of divers so if you touch poke and prod, expect to get wrapped over the knuckles with a pointy stick.


Feed the Fish

Seahorse wrapped around a cottonwall bud

 Throw the remainder of your lunch overboard or better still the polyethylene wrapper, empty plastic drinks bottle, make sure to keep your regulator in as you may be following shortly afterwards!




Pee in your wetsuit, there are those that do and those that lie about it. Either way make sure not flush your wetsuit before you exit the water and for added effect keep it on between dives creating a great aroma for all those sitting around you.


Blow Dry!

Noise warning sign

 Your dust cap needs to be dried, so open your cylinder valve fully open for at least 30 seconds to deafen everyone on the boat.



Hog It!


Got an underwater camera? Make sure that you spend as long as possible hogging your special subject to get that perfect shot, then use sudden jerky movements as you move away to scare it back in its hole, so that only you get that special picture.

Be a Bore

Boring SignOf course everyone on the boat wants to know your complete diving history, dive by dive and that wallet full of cert cards is a must for everyone to see.


Tight Arse

Tip Box

And of course at the end of the day, don’t tip your Divemaster, dive guides or boat crew!



And yes, this all happened on a Dive Rutland Trip! but not by any member of our party....

February 2018 v1.0